|
| He asked me to see him next week, after my preboards. I said YES. But inside me, I was afraid. Unsure. I dunno.
Its just me again, thinking of too many things.
That's been my problem since I was with jowh.
I think about things that weren't supposed to be thought about.
I think about things too much that it arises into a problem...
Please just allow me to vent.
I like him. He likes me... But I guess were not yet on the same level. He wants me to go to his place after the preboards... This was actually the 3rd invitation. I turned down the other 2 because their dates were 'before preboard' so I really had no excuse this time, right?
Its just that... I'm thinking about negative things too much.
I keep feeling like, its not time yet, or whatever...
I think things are going too fast, or
I think its not like me to go over to his place... something like that.
Its just that I'd like it better if he'd be the one went the distance, and number 2...
I'd like it better if we went out on a movie or dinner instead of me, going to his place again... which I did already.
What I'm after is a FOUNDATION. a solid one.
And I know that this is what he wants too.
wala naman talaga akong mareklamo tungkol sa kanya eh. sabi ko nga, tanga nalang talaga ako pag di ko pa to nagustuhan. I mean, he has everything I'm looking for. And that's rare.
Maybe I'm just really not that comfortable with him yet. That's it... so I'm getting all jittery when I think about going to his place again. Yeah, I know its next week pa. And I'll probably miss him that much naman... So yeah, I'll go there. I just feel also, like I'm adjusting to him too much minsan. Pero when I come to think of it... parang he's doing the same naman. I just really don't want him to be too comfortable na ako yung nagaadjust sa gusto nya. kasi I think Its too early for that, right?
| | |
| nagamit pa ko... :,(
here I am again. feeling the feelings I've always hated. The feelings I never deserved from day 1.
Kanina, sinugod kami sa Music 21 ni ano.
Umpisa palang, mejo sumama na mood ko kasi sinabi niya nanaman kay ano na magkasama kami.
FUCK. Mama's right. I'm weak again. I can't even control my tears.
I sorta new that he was using me to piss off you know who.
And I was so stupid to still go out with him. Even If from the start I told him that I won't ever cross the line, he still went on telling you know who about "Us, going places".
Kanina nabadtrip talaga ako kasi sinabi niya pa na magkasama kami.
And yes. Nangyari yung kniatatakutan ko. Sinugod kami ni you know who at nagwala siya.
Nagamit pa ko. After every shit I put up just to be friends with him again.
This is what happened. I never did anything wrong. I was a fcking good friend to him even when he did something painful to me from the start.
I should've never even forgave him.
Kung alam ko lang na gagawin niya to sakin.
Tang ina talaga.
| | |
| you, poor ugly (very)dark girl may have him all to yourself now.
but He had ME at his best. And you can never go close to what we were :)
He thinks of you as a curse, and he thinks of me as his saving grace.
I hope he'll learn to love you, you fugly sl*t.
I don't want him no more.
And there's not a chance in hell that he can get me back.
So be happy. And WISH... that he loves you back... even half the way he loved me. :)
| | |
| hello to you my xanga blog.
I had to do this tonight.
Because my plan was a complete success and everything was FLAWLESS.
Go to hell.
You deserve more than that.
No one breaks my heart and gets away with it.
want me to be a b*tch? Here you go.
Gusto nyo yan ha. Sige. mamulubi kayo.
| | |
| He said the three words I hated the most, to hear from him.
And now I'm feeling weird. Its like he's coming so soon. Sooner than I expected.
This afternoon he said that there was a big possibility that he's coming home tonight to get clothes. And tonight, after he texted those three words, he never texted again... Which only happens WHEN HE'S DRIVING.
Why does this have to happen now? Now that I'm not sure anymore. Now that I could clearly remember how shitty everything went. What he did to me.
What he did to me really overpowered how we were going these past few days.
This morning, he started opening topics that were about WHAT WE ARE NOW...
"kuntento ka na ba na ganito lang tayo..."
"ano ba ako sayo?"
"hanggang dito nalang ba tayo?"
These words almost ruined my day today. And to top it all off.. Those three words.
Sige, bumalik ka. Ramdamin mo puot ko. Payback time.
--------------
Aaaaarrrrggggghh. I don't know why this is happening. All I know is that I can't feel anything right now. | | |
|
