| | I don't know what's wrong with this year. 2009 is a really bad year for me, so far.
I got my grades already, I passed all my subjects, so I only have one year left before
I'm off to take the boards, and to venture the real world.
But last night, I kept crying...
most of my friends got cut from the college. And that included pops.
I don't understand why they had to take out so many students from the
college, we're so few to begin with...
So last night, I was with pops... after 2 days without communication, since he
pawned his phone to have more money for my birthday celebration
(I didn't approve of this. I just knew about it late)
Last night..
He was so devastated.
It was his last chance to be in this college... He only had 4 subjects and was under probation
he failed 2 of them. The bad thing about it is, he was worried about his mom. His mom is their
breadwinner, and she's kinda tired of working already due to her age. His mom has been
so devastated by his failures in the past...
And now, he got cut from the college.
He doesn't know how to tell his mom. He doesn't know if his mom will still let him study...
I'm gonna pour out my heart now.
When I lost jowh, I almost died. I was so lost for a long long time. It was a horrible feeling, really.
Me and jowh were together for a year, and it was the first time I fell. The pain of the break-up was never-ending. Its not only the breakup that hurt, it was "what happened after" that hurt most. He forgot about me. It was as if I never existed. After everything we've been through, It ended that way. All the promises, the life we built around each other...
I'm not good with relationships. I have the tendency to become selfish.
I have the tendency to lose my self discipline
I have the tendency to forget about other people
But God gave me another shot on having someone. Pops exceeded everything jowh has done for me. Not only by the time we were together but also, he sacrificed a lot for me, for "us". And now, we're in a situation wherein whatever we do, we're surely not going to see each other often. We don't even know when we'll see each other after yesterday. Malabo...malabong malabo.
I'm afraid to lose pops.
So afraid that I don't even know what I'll do to myself if I lose him.
pasalamat na nga ako, na kinaya ko pa mabuhay pagkatapos mawala ni jowh eh. Now i got a second shot to be happy, parang aalisin pa ata sa'kin. I'm so afraid. I'm not good with long distance relationships. I'm not used to that kind of rel. and I don't believe it works. NO... Not for me.
I lost daddy recently, and I haven't gotten over it yet. If I lose pops...
Ewan ko... bakit kaya ganun... just when everything was starting to get to normal
after daddy's death, babagsakan nanaman ako ng ganitong problema.
I hope everything turns out well..........
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| | Posted 3/31/2009 7:29 AM - 2 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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